Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

September 25, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | 1 Comment 

As reported in today’s New York Post:

After struggling to turn Khadafy’s insane ramblings at the UN into English for 75 minutes, the Libyan dictator’s personal interpreter got lost in translation.

“I just can’t take it any more,” Khadafy’s interpreter shouted into the live microphone – in Arabic.

At that point, the U.N.’s Arabic section chief, Rasha Ajalyaqeen, took over and translated the final 20 minutes of the speech.

“His interpreter just collapsed – this is the first time I have seen this in 25 years,” another U.N. Arabic interpreter told The Post.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

September 9, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

September 3, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Easy being green: Women, as is well known, are from Venus.  Last year, Miyuki Hatoyama, the  new Japanese First Lady, seen above with her husband, revealed that she has paid a return visit to the planet.

Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of Japan’s new Prime Minister, Yukio Hatoyama, published a book last year entitled Very Strange Things I’ve Encountered.   In it, the 62-year old First Lady-to-be revealed that one night, about twenty years ago, she was abducted by aliens:

While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus.  It was a very beautiful place, and it was very green.

Mrs. Hatoyama also revealed that she knew Tom Cruise in a former incarnation – when he was Japanese – and is now looking forward to making a Hollywood movie with him. “I believe he’d get it if I said to him, ‘Long time no see’, when we meet,” she said in a recent interview.

When she informed her husband of her night on Venus, he told her that it had probably only been a dream.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

August 16, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Skydiver Paul Lewis: Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet — what could go wrong?

As reported in today’s Telegraph:

Paul Lewis, 40, jumped from a plane and plummeted through the air before crashing on to the roof of a hangar at Tilstock Airfield in Whitchurch, Shropshire.

He was rescued by firefighters and treated for head and neck injuries, before being airlifted to the University Hospital of North Staffordshire, in Stoke-on-Trent.

The accident happened at around 3pm on Friday when Mr Lewis, a freelance cameraman, was filming tandem jumps for the Parachute Centre, a skydiving firm based at the airfield.

Witnesses said that his main parachute failed to open, and then his reserve parachute failed to work properly.

A spokesman for the West Midlands Ambulance Service, said: “The man is reported to have fallen approximately 1,000 feet (3,000 metres), spiralling to the ground following a 10,000-foot skydive.”

Colin Fitzmorris, owner of the Parachute Centre, described the accident he witnessed:

He had a malfunction on his main parachute, which he cut away normally, but had some kind of control problem on his reserve which continued to spiral until he hit the hangar roof.

The roof of the hangar broke his fall and flexed sufficiently to reduce the impact. He has no fractures but some neck injury, and we are sure that he will make a full recovery. He is very lucky.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

July 2, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Spare a sympathetic thought for Adrian Zackheim.  As Leon Neyfakh reports in The New York Observer:

Before his little problem came up recently, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford had a book scheduled for publication from Penguin’s conservative Sentinel imprint in March of next year. He still might! As first reported this morning by Michael Cader of Publishers Lunch, Sentinel publisher Adrian Zackheim is trying to figure out what to do with Within Our Means, “a manifesto about fiscal conservatism–why the government needs to spend less and fix the deficit ASAP,” now that Mr. Sanford is no longer the rising star he was two weeks ago.

We checked in with Sentinel associate publisher Will Weisser this afternoon, and he said a decision was likely to be reached next week, after Mr. Zackheim returns from a vacation in England.

“Adrian has checked in but we haven’t made any decisions,” Mr. Weisser said. “Obviously, there’s a lot to think about. We need to talk to the governor and his people. It’s just such an unusual situation. You don’t want to rush into any decision.”

Unfortunately, Sentinel has already shipped the proofs for its spring catalog to the printers, and Mr. Sanford’s book—which was to be one of the conservative imprint’s lead titles for the season—is in there front and center. One supposes it will be serve as a charming collector’s item, if nothing else.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

May 29, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

As reported today in the Daily Telegraph:

Embarrassing pictures of Sue Brearley, were accidentally loaded onto a computer at Whitecross School, in Lydney, Glos, it was reported.

Pupils allegedly discovered the private images and passed them around the school IT system.

They are being treated as stolen and two teenage boys have been spoken to by police about the matter.

Mrs Brearley is said to have told colleagues that the photographs were originally taken on her mobile phone and loaded onto her laptop which was then plugged into the school system.

Her fiancé David Gaston, the previous head teacher, told the Daily Mirror: “We believe the photos were stolen. They are private.”

A Gloucestershire County Council spokesman was quoted as saying: “As far as Sue is concerned the photos were stolen.

“They are just of Sue, not both of them, and show her in underwear and are not of a pornographic nature.

“She will not face disciplinary action.

“Two boys, one of whom is over 16, have been spoken to by police.”

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

April 28, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Twenty-eight year old Artyom Sidorkin complained of extreme chest pains.  Then he started coughing up blood.  So surgeons decided to operate to remove the tumor his x-rays revealed.

The operation’s outcome was reported by the Daily Telegraph:

“We were 100 per cent sure,” said Vladimir Kamashev, a surgeon in Izhevsk in the Urals. “We did X-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour.

“I had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery.”

Before removing part of the man’s lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue.

“I thought I was hallucinating,” said Mr Kamashev. “I asked my assistant to have a look: ‘Come and see this – we’ve got a fir tree here’. He nodded in shock. I blinked three times as I was sure I was seeing things.”

Medical staff said that Mr Sidorkin must have inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into a small fir tree inside his lung.

The spruce, which was said to be touching the man’s capillaries and causing severe pain, was removed.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

April 23, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

There appear to be some serious problems with the magnificent new Yankee Stadium.   The place seems to be home run happy.  As of last week, there had been five games played and twenty-five homers hit.

At this rate —with an average of five home runs per game— there would be some 400 homers hit this year.  In the old Stadium (which now looms empty just across the street) only 160 were hit in all of 2008, the last season played there.  That represents an increase of 250% in a year.

As Buster Olney reports for ESPN.com:

The New York Yankees might have a serious problem on their hands: Beautiful new Yankee Stadium appears to be a veritable wind tunnel that is rocketing balls over the fences.

This was in evidence again on Saturday, when the Indians posted six homers, including 14 runs in the second inning. Cleveland eventually won 22-4 — and the Yankees and Indians have combined for 14 homers in the last two days.

“With the way the wind has been the last couple of days, right field is a joke,” one official said. “I would say at least three or four home runs in this series would be routine outs in nearly every park.”

The new Yankee Stadium is just across the street from the old park, but it’s not aligned quite the same way as the old Yankee Stadium. In the late-afternoon shadows in the old park, the sun was in the eyes of the left fielder. Now the sun sets into the eyes of the center field and right fielder. Whether or not that’s a factor is not known, and it’s also possible that the number of home runs hit is directly related to the poor pitching of the likes of Chien-Ming Wang.

But already there have been a number of fly balls that seemed to be routine outs, before almost leaping out of the park. Mark Teixeira lifted a pop to right field off the end of his bat in the first inning Saturday, and players on both teams appeared to be completely surprised when it carried over the wall.

Even if the Yankees wanted to make an adjustment, there is nothing they could do structurally to alter the park this season. They would have to petition for a change going into the next offseason, before doing any reconstruction.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

April 15, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Comcast spokesman Jeff Alexander had to explain to the cable system’s Philadelphia customers why a broadcast of Good Friday services from the Vatican was briefly replaced by a 30-second ad for a Girls Gone Wild DVD.

The glitch occurred during a required test of the Emergency Alert System.  During such mandatory tests, viewers are automatically rerouted to a designated channel that carries emergency information.  In this case, they were mistakenly rerouted to a regular channel that was broadcasting the paid ad for the latest of the many installments of the pornographic series in which (ostensibly) college girls go —how can I put this delicately?— wild.

Mr. Alexander said that Comcast had only received one complaint about the mixup; Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said that they had noticed an uptick in sales for that ad in that market.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

April 9, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Bob Quick, London Metropolitan Police Assistant Commissioner —and the senior anti-terrorism police officer— was forced to resign after arriving for a meeting at 10 Downing Street with a highly sensitive top secret document showing face up in his hands.  A photographer snapped the picture and the details of a planned police raid were revealed. Headed “SECRET,” the page revealed names and dates for a planned action against a suspected al-Queda-led terrorist cell that was thought to be plotting an attack inside Great Britain.  Among the possible targets were shopping malls and nightclubs.  With the secret blown, the moping up had to be moved forward, and twelve men were precipitously arrested in cities including Manchester and Liverpool.

Quick but not too swift: the (post-facto redacted) “SECRET” papers displayed by Assistant Commissioner Bob Quick on his way to an anti-terror meeting at 10 Downing Street

For British government officials, forewarned turned out not to be forearmed.  Last May the same photographer —Steve Back— snapped a photo of papers held by housing minister Caroline Flint that stirred controversy by revealing HMG’s fear of a ten per cent fall in the housing market.

Mr. Back’s warning at the time seems to have fallen on deaf ears:

“I have told Downing Street before that the quality of lenses and digital lenses means that we can read ministerial papers. “Someone in Bob Quick’s position should have known that. He must have been sitting with them on his lap in his car. Anyone could have read them. There was no cover on them.” Mr Back was standing opposite the front door of 10 Downing Street with another photographer and a Sky News crew, monitoring a meeting of 30 chief constables with Home Secretary Jacqui Smith. Towards the end of the meeting, which had started at 8.30 am, a car pulled up, and Mr Quick jumped out and went inside, carrying the details of the counter-terrorism operation. Mr Back said: “He looked at us, he knew we were there.”

Mr. Back’s work isn’t limited to revealing documents.  He famously photographed the young Diana Spencer —then being courted by the Prince of Wales— in a see-through skirt that revealed the leggy splendor of the future Princess. He now runs a photo agency —PoliticalPictures— that specializes in photographs of politicians.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

April 2, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

There are some headlines that a leader knows no good can possibly come of.  Take, for instance, this one from yesterday’s Daily Telegraph:

Canadian Prime Minister denies being in toilet during official photo

Even the greatest optimist would have trouble constructing a scenario in which that story is going to end up a net positive.

At the appointed hour, the 30 world leaders at the London G20 Summit gathered to pose for their obligatory group photo.  At least 29 of them did.  Canadian PM Stephen Harper was nowhere to be found.  After waiting a while, the photographer went ahead and snapped the picture.

The BBC reported that the missing Premier was “in the loo.”  The Premier claimed that he was being briefed by his staff.  

An hour and a half later the group was reassembled in order to give Mr. Harper a second chance and to have a record of the complete complement of principals.  But this time Silvio Berlusconi (Italy) and Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (Indonesia) were AWOL.

The Canadian press, not surprisingly, has been all over the story.  And in Ottawa the political opposition had a field day.  New Democratic Party finance spokesman Thomas Mulcair’s comment was typical: “Well, the Prime Minister missed the recession so there’s no great surprise that he also missed this photo op,  He’s been missing quite a few things since he was re-elected, and Canadians are starting to miss a prime minister who’s getting in the picture. We need action right now on this economic downturn and the Conservatives just aren’t there.”

Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner (first row far right) points out the empty space behind her to German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

March 30, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

March 20, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

An employee at the Whole Foods Market in Tulsa was unpacking bananas from Honduras when she discovered a spider stowed away on one bunch.  She caught it in a container, which eventually ended up at the University of Tulsa’s animal facility.

Director Terry Childs identified it as a Brazilian Wandering Spider — one of the most lethal in the world.  More people die from its bite than from any other arachnid.  As Childs says, “This particular one happens to be one of the most aggressive ones I’ve actually come across. This thing will actually jump at you.  Within minutes you will have breathing problems, you’ll start to lose control of your muscles, you’ll start to drool and within 20 to 25 minutes you’ll probably collapse on the floor and die of asphyxiation.”

Childs said that, while there is an antidote, he doesn’t know of any in the Tulsa area. 

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

March 13, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

The Sakura-jima volcano, on the southernmost Japanese island of Kyushu, erupted in the early hours of Tuesday morning. The nearest city is Kagoshima, with a population of a little over half a million.  An eruption had been expected since a series of smaller explosions began over the weekend.

A fixed camera set up by the Japanese Transport Ministry captured the action as the Showa crater erupted.  Debris from the eruption landed as far as two kilometres (1.3 miles) away.

Since reawakening in 1955 the volcano has been one of Japan’s most active, recording thousands of minor explosions a year. There were no immediate reports of any damage caused by Tuesday’s eruption.

For the more committed vulcanologists among our readers, the BBC’s film of the eruption offers an additional view taken at greater distance.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

March 7, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | 2 Comments 

At a press event in Moscow yesterday, Secretary of State Clinton presented Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov with a gift — which she then proceeded to open for him.

It was a joke “reset” button — intended to be a clever reference to Vice President Biden’s speech in Munich last month when he said: “It is time to press the reset button and to revisit the many areas where we can and should be working together with Russia.”

The Secretary said that her staff had “worked very hard” to get the wording right.  ”Do you think we got it?” she asked.

Diplomacy can only go so far, and Mr. Lavrov replied, “You got it wrong.”

He explained that the word emblazoned across the top of the “reset” button —”peregruzka”— means “overloaded” or “overcharged” rather than reset.  In the Secretary’s strained “ah” as the Foreign Minister makes this explanation, you can hear the sound of heads rolling down corridors half the world away in Foggy Bottom.

In other words, the translation our State Department came up with described the  problem rather than the solution.  Even I, whose ability to resist easy shots and belabor the obvious is all but nonexistent, am going to take a pass on this one.

It is what it is and you can see for yourself.

 

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

March 7, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

A lot of fun has been had at the expense of the woman in Fort Pierce, Florida, who made three calls to 911 when her local McDonald’s refused to refund her money after they ran out of the McNuggets she had ordered and only offered to substitute some other comestible commencing with Mc.  She was having none of that, and a standoff ensued.

A McImmovable Force had met a McIrresistible Object.

Consider, briefly, the basic facts of the case:

• She ordered a 10-piece McNuggets meal.  
• They took her money.  
• Then they told her they were out of McNuggets and offered, in lieu, a McDouble.
• She asked for her money back.
• They said all sales are final and refunds were against store policy.
• So she called 911 to ask for help resolving this intractable situation.
• Then she called 911 again.
• Then she called 911 yet again.

While I am prepared to concede that the third call to 911 may have been a bit excessive, I have to say that I find her rationale entirely reasonable and her aversion to resorting to force  (she said that she didn’t feel that she had “the right to jump across the counter and snatch” her money back) admirable.

Now, everyone knows that as good as a McDouble can be (and in the right circumstances, that can be damned good), there is no way it can be considered as an even exchange for the McNuggets you are already tasting before you even leave home on your way to the Golden Arches.  

A wrong had clearly been committed, and the reasonable means of redress —an apology for the inconvenience and a refund— had been taken off the table. So she looked for help from 911.  Three times.

In the wake of this unfortunate incident, everyone seems to have leaned some useful lessons.  McDonald’s Florida operations manager issued a statement:

Satisfying each and every customer that visits our restaurants is very important to us.  Regarding this isolated incident, we apologize for the inconvenience caused. In the event that we are unable to fill an order, a customer should be offered the choice of a full refund or alternative menu items. We regret that in this instance, that wasn’t the case.

We want to correct our mistake. We will be sending the customer her refund, along with an invitation to return for her original order, on us. We never want to disappoint a McNuggets fan or any McDonald’s customer. Customer satisfaction is our top priority.

And the customer stated that, while she had no intention of cutting her nose to spite her face by boycotting the fast food chain, in the future she would adapt a more wary approach when ordering.

I’m not going and just giving up my money like that, no, but I’m going to ask them would they please check and see if they have what I want on the menu, and if they tell me yes, then I will order.

Alas, it’s not a case of all’s well that ends well —at least not yet— because she now has to answer a summons to appear in court for misusing the 911 emergency communications system.

 

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

February 24, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

A $278 million NASA satellite attached to a four-stage Taurus XL rocket was launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base this morning at 1:55 AM PST. Three minutes later, a protective clamshell covering failed to separate from the rocket and the extra weight prevented the satellite from achieving orbit.  It returned to earth and sank in the South Pacific near Antarctica.

Launch manager Charles P. Dovale admitted that “It’s a huge disappointment to the entire team that’s worked very hard over years and years and really did their best to see it through. The reason not everyone is able to do this is it’s hard. And even when you do the best you can, you can still fail. It’s a tough business.”

One of NASA’s problems is that it does the impossible so often that it’s easy to forget the home truth that it’s hard.

(Well begun but not half done: the Orbiting Carbon Observatory’s spectacular night lift-off from Vandenberg AFB.  A few minutes later the satellite failed to reach orbit and fell back to earth.  It landed in the ocean just short of Antarctica. The video ends moments before the problems begin.)

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

February 17, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Japanese Finance Minister Shoichi Nakagawa, a close ally of Prime Minister Taro Aso, appeared to be several sheets to the wind during a press conference at the meeting of G7 finance ministers in Rome last week.

It’s an election year; a recent poll shows Mr. Aso enjoying less than 10% support among the electorate; and this was not Mr. Nakagawa’s first eye-raising performance.  

The YouTube edition of the the press conference’s greatest moments quickly made its way back to Japan and then around the world.  Mr. Nakagawa’s attempt to mount a Nyquil defense —he claimed his slurry, sleepy performance was the result of having taken too much cold medicine— only managed to make him a national laughing stock as well as a national disgrace.  

The upshot: Mr. Nakagawa submitted his resignation today in Tokyo, and Mr. Aso named Kaoru Yosano to replace him.

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

January 27, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | Leave a Comment 

Next Time You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day

January 27, 2009 by Frank Gannon | Filed Under Next Time You Think You've Had A Bad Day | 3 Comments 

You’ve spent another hard day at the office in Tsuruoka city.  It’s late and you want to get home and put your feet up and watch CSI, but you’re a bit peckish.  So you stop off at a local eatery where you’re greeted by a genial host/chef who takes your order.

What could go wrong?

As AP reports today:

Blowfish testicles prepared by an unauthorized chef sickened seven diners in northern Japan and three remained hospitalized Tuesday after eating the poisonous delicacy.

The owner of the restaurant in Tsuruoka city, who is also the chef, had no license to serve blowfish and was being questioned on suspicion of professional negligence, police official Yoshihito Iwase said.

Three people died and 44 others were sickened by blowfish poisoning in 2007 — most of them after catching the fish and cooking it at home — according to the Health Ministry.

Three people died and 44 others were sickened by blowfish poisoning in 2007 — most of them after catching the fish and cooking it at home — according to the Health Ministry.

Iwase said the seven men ordered sashimi and grilled blowfish testicles at the restaurant Monday night.

Shortly after, they developed limb paralysis and breathing trouble and started to lose consciousness — typical signs of blowfish poisoning — and were rushed to a hospital for treatment, Iwase said.

A 68-year-old diner remained hospitalized in critical condition with respiratory failure and two others, aged 55 and 69, were in serious condition, he said. 

Blowfish poison, called tetrodotoxin, is nearly 100 times more poisonous than potassium cyanide, according to the Ishikawa Health Service Association. It can cause death within an hour and a half after consumption.

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